


Bathing for Fun and Profit

by ViciousRhythm



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Bath Sex, F/M, Incredibly self indulgent, PWP, sex on a pile of money, spoilers for episode 81
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 05:39:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9307814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViciousRhythm/pseuds/ViciousRhythm
Summary: The bath sex we all know happened and the sex on a pile of money that Vex'ahlia deserves.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Laura sure Did That yet again and somebody had to write it, so here it is. Or...my rendition of it anyway.

Being able to lounge on an enormous pile of money sounds hypothetically amazing, especially for a woman like Vex’ahlia, but the reality is that gold, platinum, and jewels have a few things in common besides being Vex’s favorite things. They are also cold as fuck and uncomfortable to lay on. Which is rapidly destroying one of Vex’s very favorite fantasies, which is entirely unfair because life has been really shitty lately and the least it could do is do her this one solid.

“I think that might work better for you with a bit more planning.” Percy’s voice comes to her from the doorway of Vex’s de facto room. He’s still as filthy as she is, clothes in tatters and visibly bruised, a line of blood where his lip has split. His tongue flicks out to that spot, touching the blood but not quite cleaning it, and Vex feels her libido roar to life. Worn out as they are, Vex is  _not_ tired enough not to enjoy the sight of Percy standing there, all long limbs and slender hips devoid of his usual gear, looking comfortable with his arms crossed as he leans on her doorway with no doubt of his welcome. 

Vex's hands curl into the wealth around her and at her back, pushing up as she leans away from one hard-won prize and toward the other. Coins shift and clatter to the floor in a rainstorm of pinging metal when she sits up, arms supporting her weight with her legs spread just so. Percy’s head tilts as his eyes travel over her with a terribly obvious glimmer of interest. Good, they're on the same page.

“What do you propose to improve the situation?” Vex asks, doing nothing at all to hide the purr in her voice or the way she can feel her mouth curling around a promising smile.

“First,” he starts, uncrossing his arms and clearing the space between them with a few strides of his long legs. “I suggest a bath.”

Vex takes his offered hand, standing a little less than gracefully from her impromptu pile of coins and jewels and disrupting it once more.

“Since there aren’t all that many to go around,” Percy goes on, walking backward to lead her out of the room. “I figured it best if we shared one. To free up space, you know.”

“An excellent idea, darling.”

Vex follows him to the largest bathing room, where she is once again reminded it is _good_ to be in charge, because the tub waiting for them is filled with hot, sudsy water already. She strips out of her clothes quickly, shucking off her armor and shirt in short order, then wiggling out of her trousers only to find Percy standing at her back when she straightens. His hands rest on her shoulders, the heat of his body behind her an almost physical touch all along her spine, and Vex shivers when his lips touch the nape of her neck. She sighs, turning her head to offer him more room to work with and Percy takes advantage, trailing kisses across her shoulders while his hands travel down the length of her arms. Their fingers slot together when he reaches her hands, pulling them up her own body so Vex is left caressing her skin under his guidance.

Percy leaves her hands where they are when he’s reached her breasts, her own palms cupped over the swell of flesh and just teasing the lowest edge of her nipples. He presses lightly, abandoning her hands and letting his own fall behind her. Vex can feel him working off his own trousers an instant before the kisses across her shoulder turns to a bite, shocking a gasp out of her and making her hands close reactively. Percy matches the groan that leaves her at that, the sound followed in seconds by the sound of his clothes hitting the ground.

Vex doesn’t wait to see what will happen next, just turns in place and puts her arms around Percy to drag him down to her height. He goes eagerly, mouth open and welcoming when it meets hers, and Vex is not polite. She bites and pushes, draws the point of her tongue over the sensitive places in his mouth and does her level best to map Percy’s kiss so she knows it like she knows the paths she’s travelled all her life. He gives back in kind, wandering hands scouring her body for secrets he hasn’t already unlocked, making Vex’s breath catch when his calluses drag rough and perfect over her skin.

They fall into the bath more than anything else, sending a small sheet of hot water over the edge before they settle slightly, letting Percy take a moment to place his glasses safely away. Vex crawls into his lap with no prompting at all, legs spread so she can feel the length of his torso smooth against the sensitive skin of her inner thighs like a self-imposed tease. There are a few seconds of respite, if only because they are both admirably filthy. Percy holds her at the small of her back as Vex tips backward, arching to soak her freed hair without having to leave her seat, and he follows after a stalled moment, mouth on the shining wet skin of her chest, pressing a kiss to the center before he dives to work laving his tongue over every inch of her breasts to make her squirm and arch. She repays the favor somewhat by pouring sweet-smelling soap into his hair and mussing it with wet fingers, finally cupping her hands to rinse the bubbles from his head and down into the mess of soap already swirling over the top of the water. Her hands slide down through his hair, fingertips rasping down over the stubble on his jaw and drawing him down to her mouth.

Percy has returned to the task of kissing her soundly, the both of them managing to gently scrub away soot and blood while exploring each other with their hands, when Vex picks up the sound of feet. They sound urgent and headed in their direction, so she shoves Percy unceremoniously back against the far edge of the bath and ducks under the water just before anyone can walk in.

Because Vex can’t go a moment without having something absolutely absurd happen to her, she doesn’t only wait a minute for the interloper to leave and have Percy drag her back to the surface. Instead, she’s forced to haphazardly tuck herself as close to Percy as possible when a pair of feet Vex instantly recognizes as her brother’s enter the tub. This close, it’s inescapably clear the effect she’s had on Percy. Or rather, the effect she’s had on his cock, which happens to be a mere few inches away from her face and clearly still interested in the proceedings despite the interruption.

There is a split second where Vex considers putting her mouth on him, just because she can still feel a dangerous mix of adrenaline and exhaustion and lust under her skin, but it’s a terrible idea. For one, it would drastically deplete her estimated time before Vex will _have_ to take a breath, and she’s not quite bold enough to do that with her brother literally _right there._  Instead, Vex chooses the slightly less troubling but equally _fuck it_ route and wraps her hand around him.

Percy doesn’t make any obvious movements, and Vex can still hear the muffled sounds of a stilted conversation above the water, but a muscle in his thigh twitches. Percy’s hands are underwater, obscured with her, but he’s not an idiot, so he moves slow. There’s no discernible pause as Percy’s hands drift until his fingers are twisted in her hair, pulling it down, and Vex realizes he’s helping keep her from being seen. She behaves as a reward, keeping her hand still rather than push him further.

Within seconds, when Vex’s lungs have just started to protest, there is movement and Vax leaves the bath. She waits until a count of five, hoping he’s gone, because she really does need to breathe.

“Ugh, I thought he’d _never_ leave,” Vex gasps when it’s clear they’re alone again, shoving water and loose hair out of her eyes.

“That was very close,” Percy says. “And very weird. Let’s not do that again.”

“Agreed.” Vex slides up, resuming her seat across Percy’s lap, leaving room for her hand to keep her grip, moving slowly now and relishing in the tiny roll of Percy’s hips as he follows her motion. He holds onto her for a moment, hands gripping tight just above her ass while Percy’s eyes track down and back up her body, visibly frustrated with how her lower half disappears from view beneath the water.

“What do you say we move this somewhere more private?” he suggests, tonguing that spot where his lip has split again, absolutely forcing Vex to lean forward and lick it too. He moans into her mouth, flinching slightly at what must be just a hint of pain, but opening for her nonetheless.

“I say we go back to my room,” Vex starts, speaking against his mouth, unwilling to leave that plush lower lip for a second. “And you show me your plans for improving my original idea, and if my brother is hell bent on sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong, he deserves anything he’ll have nightmares about if he picks the lock on my door.”

Percy doesn’t need any more persuading, sliding Vex off his lap as he stands. For all that Vex does appreciate the sight of him naked and quite clearly turned on, there’s absolutely no way Percy is walking back to her room in the nude, so she bids his naked body a fond and hopefully brief farewell as he ties a robe around himself. Vex follows suit, toweling her hair in a perfunctory motion as the pair of them walk perhaps faster than usual back to her room.

She doesn’t get a chance to do anything with the towel but drop it, not that Vex was particularly bothered about trying. Her hands are quite immediately taken up by Percy wrapping his hands around her wrists and holding her against the shut and locked door with the length of his body. Whitestone is characteristically chilly, but the wood warms quickly at her back as Vex embraces the feeling of being trapped between Percy and the unyielding surface of her door. She tips her hips forward, forcing a roll of their bodies against each other while Vex sucks on Percy's tongue, matching his groan when his grip tightens on her wrists, sliding down her arms a moment later. They both scramble for each other’s robes the instant he releases her hands, pushing and pulling blindly while Vex is occupied with graciously accepting Percy’s absolute assault on her mouth.

When he backs up a step, Vex’s eyes dart to the glittering pile of gold and jewels, her mind filling with a horrendously unrealistic fantasy of having Percy in a pool of wealth, the most self-indulgent thought she’s maybe ever had. He bypasses it entirely though, bending to haul Vex’s legs around his blessedly naked hips and forcing her to hold onto him. It’s only a few steps to her bed, probably all that Percy can realistically manage with any sort of grace. He follows her down, kneeling with one knee between Vex’s legs and then falling further to brace himself on his elbows just above her.

He ducks a kiss to the underside of her jaw - sensitive and reactive, where it sends fire racing through her blood to pool between her legs - and then diverts. Vex starts to be annoyed, but Percy comes back with a handful of coins, his fist near bursting and letting pieces of gold slip past his grip to fall silently onto the bed around her. He repeats the process, kissing quick and targeted all over her body and coming back with coins and jewels each time until Vex can feel them pooling at the curve of her waist and weighing down the damp tangle of her hair. His last batch goes directly onto her stomach, Percy opening his hand a bare inch above her skin and letting the gold and platinum rain onto her.

Vex’s stomach flexes at the chilly metal dropping, rolling over her sides with a few pieces remaining stuck to her skin where she hadn’t quite realized she’s begun to sweat. Percy bends to drag his tongue in a line curving down and around a platinum piece resting in the divot of her hip and Vex pushes restless legs against the bed, hips rolling toward his mouth. Percy’s fingers sift through the gold framing her hips, metallic noises following until his fingers are pressed into her flesh, holding her still.

Vex doesn’t mistake his intent when he slides down her body, his motion kicking some coins and a rather large emerald off the bed haphazardly before he settles. She lets him pull her leg up and over his shoulder and is only surprised when his mouth lands on the inside of her thigh instead of going directly for her center.

“What are you doing?” Vex asks, sitting up just a bit on one elbow. The shivery cold touch of platinum and gems slides against her skin, setting off a trail of goosebumps.

“You’re enjoying your treasure,” Percy rumbles against her, a painfully scant inch from where she wants him. “Let me enjoy mine.”

Vex lays back again when he spreads one hand entirely over the top of her thigh, pressing precisely against the dips where her skin seems least inclined to cover her nerves. Vex endures while Percy explores from her thighs to her navel, circling his tongue there and then breathing against her. She _so_ ready for it, so worked up, that even that is enough to make her stomach clench as Vex feels herself pulse around nothing.

“Percy.” Vex isn’t proud of what can only be called a whine, but she is certainly not too proud to beg either. “ _Please_.”

He obeys instantly, like a string has been cut somewhere, and Vex feels her legs spread wider as Percy mercifully goes directly for her clit. She gives in to the urge to bury her hands in his hair, tugging in an accidental directive that Percy follows beautifully. Vex rocks against his face, chasing the sensation of his tongue alternating between deliciously aggressive and so gentle it aches and draws needy noises from within her chest.

Head tipped back, Vex mostly has a good view of the ceiling, but a glimmer in her peripheral catches her eye. She turns her head leisurely, a diamond catching the low light inches from her face while Vex rocks, ears filled with the obscene sounds of Percy working between her legs and her own uncontrollable, breathy little moans. The scrape of his stubble makes her finally look down, only to be met with Percy’s unmistakeable white hair bunched in her fists and blue eyes brighter than usual without his glasses in the way, watching her intently. It’s almost too much, making Vex’s spine contract and shiver involuntarily at the attention. Percy hums, right into her, and Vex chokes on her next breath. Her shoulders twist and bunch, opening a space for coins to avalanche down her back and stick to her heated skin. The gold heats to her body so quickly, but the jewels and platinum take longer, sending jangling sensations through her every time the press of cold metal meets her skin.

Vex starts babbling when Percy starts using his fingers, stroking inside her while she croons out praise and pleas. It’s so easy, two of his fingers slipping inside her with no resistance from the wet mess he’s made of her. Vex rolls her hips in invitation, comes against Percy’s tongue flickering adamantly over her clit, and scrapes her nails over his scalp and shoulder as her breath leaves like it’s been punched out of her lungs.

He follows her hands when Vex gets her wits about her enough to try to tug him back up to her. Percy tastes like a mix of them when she kisses him, mouth swollen and slick, the knowledge and sensation bringing Vex’s legs up and open around his hips almost without her input. He rocks against her just once and Vex’s mouth drops open on a whimper. She’s still so damn sensitive coming down.

Percy doesn’t give her a chance to recover fully, realigning them so his cock presses inside her like the simplest thing. Vex gasps at the stretch, fingers sliding across Percy's shoulder blades to get him even closer as if she could when she's already full of him, surrounded by his arms and heat. She knows he can’t see her well this close, that she's blurry around the edges, but Percy searches her eyes anyway, still until Vex rolls against him and deliberately tightens around him. The noise he makes at that purrs into Vex’s ego, his resulting thrust making her gasp and demand _more_.

It isn’t a gentle lovemaking, but the kind of sex that screams victory and indulgence, one more day and one more scrap of pleasure pulled kicking and screaming from the jaws of defeat. Vex digs her nails into his back, surely leaving red lines across the breadth of his shoulders while Percy fucks into her with everything he’s got. The gold and gems fall around them, bit by bit in a cascade of noise and bright color hitting the floor, with every move they make until all that is left is the thin line of precious metal gathered at the edges of Vex’s body.

“Don’t stop,” Vex pants, one hand pressed to the headboard for leverage, the other wrapped around Percy's bicep. “That’s perfect, darling, _just like that_.” Wordless, Percy maintains precisely the same angle, only changing the pace as he drives into her a little faster. She’ll have bruises on her thigh from where he’s holding onto her, but they’ll be the best of all the bruising she already has, and Vex simply doesn’t care. It’s too good to think of the consequences, being able to feel Percy all over, having his body locked with hers and the salt of his sweat on her tongue.

Her hand drops between her legs when Vex guesses Percy is reaching his limits from the way he keeps saying her name, over and over in the most deliciously desperate voice, and he doesn’t try to bat her away. He only watches, so obviously memorizing the pattern and pressure of her own fingers, learning what she likes best to replicate later, and Vex isn’t sure if it’s that awareness that sends her over, or the perfect combination of her fingers on her clit and his cock inside her. In fairness, it’s likely all three.

Percy barely manages two more thrusts before his hips stutter, circling against Vex’s and staying pressed almost uncomfortably close when he comes. He drops heavily to one elbow, out of breath and letting drawn, breathy noises escape him. His weight sends the coins around Vex’s shoulders up and back down in a noisy bounce, settling in small metallic clicks as they catch their breath.

“You’re right,” Vex gets out when she feels as though her mind has somewhat returned from whatever distant realm Percy temporarily flung it to. “Your way is much better.”

“I doubt I’ll hear that often again,” Percy mutters into her shoulder, sighing heavily in a decidedly masculine groan of satisfaction. “So I’ll just say thank you and I told you so.”

Vex takes the nearest gold coin and flicks it at the side of his head, earning herself a betrayed glower, but she follows it with a slow and only somewhat filthy kiss that Percy doesn’t resist. As far as forgiveness goes, it serves well enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I have lost all control of my life, thank you and goodnight!


End file.
